Since I was a young girl, i knew my life wasn't like everyone else. I didn't grow up in the same home with both my parents... for a while i didn't live with my parents. My sisters and i were at one point, foster kids... We've been through so much that we were force to grow up a lot faster then most. Since then, i've known my whole life that i was not considered "Normal". I've seen things that i can never erase and have always tried to be positive about it all.

I've never wanted to have a normal life so much then i do now. But when you spend A LOT of time to yourself, you realize that sometimes life is just that crazy... and we can't do anything about it.

My family and i have gone through so many wrongs that I'm just waiting for god to bless us with a miracle.  At one point i thought god had forgotten about me. I have a love and hate relationship with him. I think and talk to him everyday and each time...I cry...sometimes with anger and sometimes with love. I started questioning the choices and paths he puts me through. I tell him I'm so close to just giving in.

Im 20 years old, and all i want is to be normal for once. I want to have a normal life and make it amazing on my own. Im tired of having to go through life obstacles in life. To wake up each day wondering what is ahead of me. Scared and mad. Stressed but thankful. Thankful that i'm not laying on the streets of NYC... Thankful I'm not starving... and grateful that my mom pulls miracles on her own.

When i start to think about normality, I realize that its okay to be different. To talk to yourself, to be your own friend, to get excited to splurge life thoughts on a blog. Its okay to be completely okay alone. More importantly its okay to say "Im not okay". When you can admit and accept those things, you start to think of ways to make it better. You start to make light of each situation. I realize that each home is not perfect.  That there is a problem in each family. Small or big... we are all human. We make mistakes and thats okay...

Its hard to look at the glass half full... but sometimes its the only thing that keeps me sane. so the question is... am i okay with not being normal? Yes... My family and i have gone through enough to learn to be GRATEFUL, HUMBLE and most importantly STRONG.

Never feel alone.
Never feel like giving up.
No friends? You now have me.

EMAIL: youlovestephanierose@gmail.com
Ask.fm/stephanierose711